Communicating Differently?

My community is located neighboring the Wind River Reservation. I grew up here primarily and only just moved back last September. I grew up with an awareness that there were cultural differences that existed, and limited knowledge about what exactly those differences were and why. Now as an adult and professional at the community college here I look at these differences with a different awareness. I absolutely communicate differently with individuals of cultures that are not the same as my own.

Yesterday we had an informal meeting to discuss how as a division within the college we can establish better communication with one another. Several of us are relatively new and we all are knew to working with one another. One of my supervisors stated so much is being lost in translation and interpreted differently than the actual intent because we haven't taken the time to get to know one another. 

I believe that this can statement be applied to communication in general or communication with regards to culture. I do not communicate differently because I feel superior or view my culture as the "better" choice. I believe that now I have taken the time to learn about the cultural significance and differences in communication in order to be more affective and accepting. I would much rather learn about an individual, establish a relationships, and build a rapport so that I can learn from others as well as teach to others not just education but culturally as well.

Keeping Up Appearances

I am not sure if it was good or bad, but I told my husband to pick a television show on Netflix I had never seen before so I could evaluate it for this assignment. He chose a British television show from the 90s called Keeping Up Appearances. I had never heard of it, so it worked. I was weary of any cultural differences that may affect my interpretation of nonverbal communciation, but decided to go with it anyways. As I began to watch I was able to determine the main character was not liked very much based on other's facial cues, but also they way they walked away from her when talking and looked down when she spoke to them. She seemed very judgmental based on her facial cues. Other individuals seemed more carefree until she was in the room, and the tension seemed to rise. For example, when she is on her way to someone's house they are relaxing and then when she arrives they begin frantically trying to tidy up.

When I watched the episode with the sound on I realized that I was correct in my assumption that everyone did not particularly enjoy this woman's company, but not to the degree I thought. With the sound off I thought she was in control of others based on her judgments and facial cues. With the sound on I realized she was often the annoyance or joke based on her judgements.

I had two Aha! moments while doing this assignment. The first was that this show overtly stereotyped and tried to set -up non verbal opinions of the characters. They showed a house with a junky car in the driveway, the man of the house wearing a dirty tank top, drinking beer, with a tattoo, sitting on a chair that looked like a hamburger. This has interested me to determine if all shows do this and I have been too focused on the words to notice or if this show was just like that. Also, I realized I may be an awfulizer. I felt the tone of the television show was far more unpleasant based on the non verbal communication than really it was intended to be. This can send mixed signals for me when communicating as the verbal and non verbal commincation based on tone don't necessarily match.

I think if I had watched a show I am familiar with the assignment would have been completely different. I would already have a general idea of the characters, those disposition, tone, and personality to judge from. I would also know more of the history of the characters, therefore be biased in my decision making.

Competent Communication

My direct supervisor is someone I admire based on her ability to communicate. She works with a diverse group of individuals on a daily basis, yet is able to communicate effectively in every circumstance. I have noticed that her ability to pay attention and make everyone feel heard is probably the key characteristic that makes her particularly effective. Next, her confidence and soothing manner when discussing issues often leaves individuals feeling better about themselves and the matter at hand. She often takes notes when having discussions so she can refer back to them if necessary or seek clarification if it is not something she knows immediately. I would love to model my own communication after my supervisor. The primary example of why I would like to be as effective of a communicator as she is took place a few weeks ago. A colleague became upset during a meeting we were having and began yelling at my supervisor. Not only did she remain calm and restate the conversation to try and keep the discussion proceeding, which it did. After the fact she asked myself and a colleague what we felt she could have done differently in that exchange because she felt that for the discussion to escalate like that she could have done something differently to prevent it. Not only did she ask for help with a matter and admit that she felt her communication was not adequate, but she sought to improve how she communicates as well.

Professional Hopes and Goals

First and foremost I would like to thank my colleagues that I have been sharing this tremendous journey with for the past year!! It has been a challenging and rewarding experience so far, and I am so thankful to be able to learn from your vast experience and knowledge!!

Going forward it is my hope that I will become a better person everyday. I hope to see individuals not just people. I hope to treat every child and family with respect and appreciation for who they are. I hope to be a caring advocate and resource for all children and families, and I hope to increase other's knowledge so that within my community and organization there is an increase awareness and acceptance for diversity.

My professional goal with respect to diversity, equity, and social justice would be to be on the diversity committee within my professional organization. I would then like to organize events both within my organization and also in the community to increase in awareness, equity, and acceptance of all individuals. I believe in this capacity I can be an advocate and a resource.

Welcoming Families From Around the World

I will be welcoming a family from the country of Estonia. I have no knowledge of the cultural values of Estonians, therefore this will be a challenge for me. To prepare for the arrival of the family I will be working with, I will first learn about the primary language of Estonians and work to establish a point of contact that will be able to offer translation or linguistic help as needed. It has been stated throughout the duration of this course that language is often abandoned as it does not fit with the language of the dominant culture. I would like to establish the native language as a rich learning experience for the center in which I work as well as the new family. Next, I would learn about the history of Estonia. This would give me insight into the evolution of the Estonian culture and society. I would also try to discover the family culture and family structure of Estonians, as working with families and children this is a key component to successfully communicating and respecting the family values. I believe that determining what type of social policies Estonia subscribes to would be important as well to help link the new family to social resources without impeding upon cultural values if necessary. Determining the values placed on physical and emotional interaction would be necessary as well, such as eye contact, handshakes, tone of voice, or physical proximity. This would allow for boundaries to be established and maintained without invalidated or insulting the family. I believe that determining religious values as well as ethnic values would be imperative as well. Throughout the course of preparation for the family I hope to learn how I can be supportive to the family, welcoming in an unobtrusive manner, as well as respectful of their family culture and individual cultures as well. This will allow me to learn from the family as well as to be a supportive resources as the family transitions. It is my hope that the family will feel values and respected in order to maintain their cultural and social identities as they establish themselves in a new country and environment.

Bias and Oppression

Early on in my undergraduate program I took a Sociology course. Part of the course was responding to discussion posts of other classmates, however, our instructor wanted us to present new information or challenge information presented in our classmates discussion post. I remember the topic was not a hot button topic at all, but one of my classmates accused me of being closed minded and racist. It was a very demeaning response to my post and not even on topic of what we were discussing. I was very hurt by the remarks as they were completely unfounded and off base. We had not had any formal or informal discussions with one another prior to this and I was shocked by her response to me. My instructor actually removed her post and issued a very stern comment in regards to her post. Later the student emailed me saying she just needed someone to challenge as she felt that the instructor wanted us to do that. While this may be a cloudy example of bias and oppression it sticks with me. I don't understand why this classmate didn't like me and felt that she needed to attack my character, but it was very hurtful to me. After this occurrence I did my best to avoid this classmate and made sure I didn't not comment to her for fear of retribution or retaliation.I think she made me feel inferior in some way, as if I presented myself as lacking integrity. From that point on I did not feel as though she was a classmate or colleague. I think in order to grow and increase equity it takes both parties being willing to compromise. There was a lack of trust built, but over time I believe with commitment from myself and my classmate to improve communication and acceptance of one another this could have been resolved. Upon thinking of this further I wonder based on her email to me if she thought I was someone that would just accept this model of communication without being hurt by her comments?

The Trouble with "isms"

I work at a community college and spend most of my time on campus. I wasn't sure how this week would go as far as trying to detect "isms". I felt like I may really be surprised with all of the microaggressions I ignore each day, or I may hear relatively few. This week I noticed that the primary "isms" I heard, which included very few I may add, were targeted towards ageism, classism,  and ableism. The one that really struck me was when someone said to me, "I am not working dead end jobs, that's okay for some people but not me...I don't want to live poor". I was speaking with a student regarding his career plan and path to reach that goal. I noticed I immediately became defensive when he stated it, yet I tried to remain professional. He then stated it again, at which point I reminded him that every situation in life can be looked at as a learning experience. My perception is that there is a divide amongst the classes, and a disagreement about how we can all work together to reach a common goal. Is poverty okay for some, but just not others? I think that was the implication. Overall this week when I began to really look, listen, and be aware I was shocked by the acceptance of certain microaggressions. I also feel that populations that do not fit within the dominant culture and are therefore vulnerable may be more at risk of being the target of a microaggresion.