For this assignment I chose to have my husband and my closest colleague evaluate me. I felt it necessary to tell them both to be honest as I would not be offended and knew I had areas that needed improvement. With this being said I still worry about the validity because who knows how honest one can be when they still have to interact with me everyday. I am hopeful they were both honest, I chose them because they communicate with me in different capacities, but definitely more frequently than anyone else, so they should know my communication patterns better.
I was extremely surprised that they both evaluated me as having less communication anxiety then I evaluated myself. They both placed me very low, and I placed myself in the mild range. This is a huge change for me as I have not always been a low anxiety communicator, but due to the demands of my job and my family I have grown into this role. The next surprise for me was that I was rated by myself and my evaluators as being a people oriented listener. This was wonderful for me, as I have always felt I am a time or action oriented listener, which made me feel badly. I was pleasantly surprised and feel maybe I have been giving myself a hard time for years for no reason at all!!
Not surprising to me was that my husband rated me a little higher on the verbal aggressiveness scale than my colleague, not much but a little. I guess he knows my true colors!!
Mandy,
ReplyDeleteIsn't it wonderful to know that communication skills can change and we can learn more adaptive behaviors. Thanks for the reminder. I think you are so courageous to have your husband evaluate your communication. I did not want real numbers attached to our differences as our preferences in communication are opposing and I am quite aware of the differences.
Hi Mandy,
ReplyDeleteI understand how a person can "grow" into a new communication style. My job as a trainer has forced me to speak to groups of all types and sizes. What use to make me anxious is not a problem anymore. Thanks for your post.
Mandy, I find it interesting that we can change our communication styles based on who is around us. Just as you stated, some of the closest people in our lives know our true colors. I think that is why I chose not to have my boyfriend do the evaluation...I was a bit too nervous of his results! Thank you for sharing your evaluations. I think this has been a great learning lesson for all of us to examine how others percieve our communication so that we can be more aware of areas for improvement and areas to use as a strength.
ReplyDeleteMandy-
ReplyDeleteI had a very similar expierence with those in my life rating me more comfortable with communication that I did myself. I also found that my husband rated me higher in aggressivness than those with whom I work but I believe it is largly to do with the fact that he is often my sounding board. I have the ability to work well under pressure and it takes a great deal to make me "loose it" and be overly aggressive. (As a strong personality himself, this is difficult to for him to understand.) However, because of the nature of our relationship he has had the opportunity to see more of these moments that do my co-workers. This exercise helped me to see that there is a different level of respect for my opinions within my family and at work. Not just because we're familiy but because at home I am more direct.