Childhood Stressors

I am the adult child of an alcoholic. My father is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober since I was 9 years old. The major stressor in my life as a young child during a critical development period was chaos. My father drank from the moment he got off of work until he went to bed. At the time I thought my dad was just unhappy with his current job, and so he often took a new job. Now, I guess I realize he was often fired. Due to this we moved often, money was always an issue, changes in schools, changes in friends, moving away from support systems, fighting between my parents. Just chaos. In order to cope I often played make believe. I had stuffed animals that I played with, and as I got older I became a very good student and problem free child just to not be a greater burden. As an adult, I am now an extremely codependent person.  I have tremendous people pleasing tendencies. I have been through counseling and various types of therapy to learn skills to be an assertive person, and establish "normal" ideals of family and marriage. I used to react in anger to almost every emotion, but happiness because that is what was modeled for me. However, I would become very frightened if others became angry. Overall, my emotional and biosocial development required a lot of work as an adult to combat the negative effects of my upbringing.  Unfortunately, children around the world contend with alcohol abuse. Thankfully, in the United States there are programs such as
Al-Anon
Alateen
Children of Alcoholics Foundation: www.coaf.org
National Association for Children of Alcoholics: www.nacoa.org/

In India, the desire to leave poverty and gain affluence in the community is leading children to develop school stress. The stress of passing final exams is causing many students to commit suicide. By March of 2008 over 100 students had committed suicide, "leaving the country, and especially its parents, wondering whether the final deathly toll will exceed the 2006 mark when a staggering 5,857 Indian students attempted suicide due to exam blues, according to the National Crime Records Bureau" (Lal, 2008).  It seems as though poverty, hunger, and crime are the primary stressors and the end result is school anxiety leading to suicide and depression. Student crisis lines have been established for students to call and seek help or advice in order to combat this new challenge.


Reference:
Lal, N. (2008, March, 20). Killing stress for India's best and brightest. Asia Times. Retrieved May 25, 2012 from www.atimes.com/atimes/South_Asia/JC20Df01.html

Co-Sleeping and SIDS

One thing that has terrified me as a mother is Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. There are precautions that can be taken, but ultimately there is no control over this terrible occurrence. I know I am not alone in this, but I would startle and run to my infant's side if he or she had been asleep too long (in my opinion). I have hovered over them to make sure they are breathing. I have been prepared to wake them and call 9-1-1 because I felt their breathing may slightly seem erratic. (It was probably just me in my sleep deprivation from hovering and worrying). Recently I have heard a lot of debate over the correlation between SIDS and co-sleeping. Tragically in my own town, twin boys recently suffocated while co-sleeping.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2096611/Twin-babies-died-mothers-bed-victims-tragic-accident.html
Next a mother in Texas, has lost two boys in separate incidents to suffocation while co-sleeping. http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/135775/mom_convicted_for_not_heeding

However, in many countries it is considered negligent to put babies to sleep in a room by themselves. Santrock (2009) mentions that Mayan mothers sleep with their infant until they have another child, at which time that child goes to sleep with a different family member and the newborn sleeps with its mother. In this culture it is considered bad parenting to not sleep with your infant (p. 133). Many cultures and people from countries around the world co-sleep. It has been stated that in Japan there is the lowest rate of infant mortality, lowest rate of SIDS related deaths, 70% of mothers breastfeed, and 60% co-sleep (McKenna, n.d.)

I guess I am torn on this. I believe that there are safe ways to co-sleep. There are now co-sleeping beds that attach to the parents bed for babies to stay close to mom, but far enough away to stay safe. My own children slept in a bassinet right next to my bed until they we too big to safely be in it any longer, which also is an option. It is a fine line between SIDS and suffocation when debating co-sleeping. Research is finding negative and positive correlations between breastfeeding, smoking, education, and co-sleeping now with SIDS related deaths (p. 133). Ultimately, I think there are smart ways to co-sleep with infants to reduce suffocation or SIDS, but the debate is starting to pick up steam and many people are starting to push for laws to punish parents whose children suffocate while co-sleeping. I am not sure about this and would love to hear feedback from my colleagues?

References:
McKenna J. J. (n.d.) Cosleeping around the world. The Natural Child Project. Retrieved May 8, 2012     from http://www.naturalchild.org/james_mckenna/cosleeping_world.html 

Santrock, J.W. (2009) Child development (12th ed.). New York: McGraw Hill.

New Life!!

I am fortunate enough to be the proud mom of 5 wonderful children! This gives me just a couple of birth stories to choose from. My fifth baby Calum, was born last June. Each pregnancy has been different; with different challenges, joys, and experiences. Calum was due July 1st. My husband and I decided we should take the kids on a stay-cation before the baby was born. So June 4 we loaded up the minivan and headed for Vernal, Utah- just 5 hours from home to visit Flaming Gorge, Dinosaurland, etc. I started feeling very sick the day before we left and had blood drawn to ensure everything was okay for me and the baby. I continued to feel sick the entire time we were gone, but managed to still have a good time. We arrived home and the next evening my water broke in the middle of the night. Surprisingly enough, with my previous babies I have had a baby arrive on his due date, an amniocentesis,  an induction, natural births, but I have never had my water spontaneously break when not in labor. I didn't know what it was and so at 1:00 am I was googling it to make sure that is what was happening!! Sure enough little Calum Jeremy decided June 8th almost 4 weeks early was the day to be born. It was the most challenging birth experience I have endured last 8 hours. Four hours into my labor my blood pressure dropped dangerously low requiring them to give me medication every 20 minutes to keep it in a normal range. I remember thinking of things I wanted to say, but it took to much effort to try and say them. All I could do was close my eyes and try to breath. I thought surely they won't all just sit there and watch me die!! Finally little Calum was born at 10:55 am. He was perfectly healthy and happy weighing 6 lbs. 15 oz, and 19 inches long. Thank heavens he came early!! It took me several hours to recover, unlike my other delivers, but he was worth every minute of pain and fear!

In India, many mothers have felt pregnancy is a life giving process and a deep connection between the mother and infant is felt from conception. Many mothers rely on the support of their mothers, spiritual gurus, and elders to allow a natural birthing process such as standing or squatting.  Due to high maternal death rates the Indian government began to urge women to deliver their babies in hospitals with obstetricians in attendance as opposed to home births with midwives and elders (Gulati, 2009). Many women in India are still choosing to follow the advice of their gurus, mothers, and midwives however, due to shorter deliveries, and the lack of medical intervention the interrupts the natural spiritual process that labor offers between a mother and her infant, such as inductions, c-sections, and lying down to labor (2009). 

Reference:
Gulati, A. (2009). Natural childbirth: In whose hands? LifePostive. Retrieved May 2, 2012 from http://www.lifepositive.com/body/natural-childbirth/childbirth-india.asp