My Communication Style

For this assignment I chose to have my husband and my closest colleague evaluate me. I felt it necessary to tell them both to be honest as I would not be offended and knew I had areas that needed improvement. With this being said I still worry about the validity because who knows how honest one can be when they still have to interact with me everyday. I am hopeful they were both honest, I chose them because they communicate with me in different capacities, but definitely more frequently than anyone else, so they should know my communication patterns better.

I was extremely surprised that they both evaluated me as having less communication anxiety then I evaluated myself. They both placed me very low, and I placed myself in the mild range. This is a huge change for me as I have not always been a low anxiety communicator, but due to the demands of my job and my family I have grown into this role. The next surprise for me was that I was rated by myself and my evaluators as being a people oriented listener. This was wonderful for me, as I have always felt I am a time or action oriented listener, which made me feel badly. I was pleasantly surprised and feel maybe I have been giving myself a hard time for years for no reason at all!!

Not surprising to me was that my husband rated me a little higher on the verbal aggressiveness scale than my colleague, not much but a little. I guess he knows my true colors!!

Communicating Differently?

My community is located neighboring the Wind River Reservation. I grew up here primarily and only just moved back last September. I grew up with an awareness that there were cultural differences that existed, and limited knowledge about what exactly those differences were and why. Now as an adult and professional at the community college here I look at these differences with a different awareness. I absolutely communicate differently with individuals of cultures that are not the same as my own.

Yesterday we had an informal meeting to discuss how as a division within the college we can establish better communication with one another. Several of us are relatively new and we all are knew to working with one another. One of my supervisors stated so much is being lost in translation and interpreted differently than the actual intent because we haven't taken the time to get to know one another. 

I believe that this can statement be applied to communication in general or communication with regards to culture. I do not communicate differently because I feel superior or view my culture as the "better" choice. I believe that now I have taken the time to learn about the cultural significance and differences in communication in order to be more affective and accepting. I would much rather learn about an individual, establish a relationships, and build a rapport so that I can learn from others as well as teach to others not just education but culturally as well.

Keeping Up Appearances

I am not sure if it was good or bad, but I told my husband to pick a television show on Netflix I had never seen before so I could evaluate it for this assignment. He chose a British television show from the 90s called Keeping Up Appearances. I had never heard of it, so it worked. I was weary of any cultural differences that may affect my interpretation of nonverbal communciation, but decided to go with it anyways. As I began to watch I was able to determine the main character was not liked very much based on other's facial cues, but also they way they walked away from her when talking and looked down when she spoke to them. She seemed very judgmental based on her facial cues. Other individuals seemed more carefree until she was in the room, and the tension seemed to rise. For example, when she is on her way to someone's house they are relaxing and then when she arrives they begin frantically trying to tidy up.

When I watched the episode with the sound on I realized that I was correct in my assumption that everyone did not particularly enjoy this woman's company, but not to the degree I thought. With the sound off I thought she was in control of others based on her judgments and facial cues. With the sound on I realized she was often the annoyance or joke based on her judgements.

I had two Aha! moments while doing this assignment. The first was that this show overtly stereotyped and tried to set -up non verbal opinions of the characters. They showed a house with a junky car in the driveway, the man of the house wearing a dirty tank top, drinking beer, with a tattoo, sitting on a chair that looked like a hamburger. This has interested me to determine if all shows do this and I have been too focused on the words to notice or if this show was just like that. Also, I realized I may be an awfulizer. I felt the tone of the television show was far more unpleasant based on the non verbal communication than really it was intended to be. This can send mixed signals for me when communicating as the verbal and non verbal commincation based on tone don't necessarily match.

I think if I had watched a show I am familiar with the assignment would have been completely different. I would already have a general idea of the characters, those disposition, tone, and personality to judge from. I would also know more of the history of the characters, therefore be biased in my decision making.

Competent Communication

My direct supervisor is someone I admire based on her ability to communicate. She works with a diverse group of individuals on a daily basis, yet is able to communicate effectively in every circumstance. I have noticed that her ability to pay attention and make everyone feel heard is probably the key characteristic that makes her particularly effective. Next, her confidence and soothing manner when discussing issues often leaves individuals feeling better about themselves and the matter at hand. She often takes notes when having discussions so she can refer back to them if necessary or seek clarification if it is not something she knows immediately. I would love to model my own communication after my supervisor. The primary example of why I would like to be as effective of a communicator as she is took place a few weeks ago. A colleague became upset during a meeting we were having and began yelling at my supervisor. Not only did she remain calm and restate the conversation to try and keep the discussion proceeding, which it did. After the fact she asked myself and a colleague what we felt she could have done differently in that exchange because she felt that for the discussion to escalate like that she could have done something differently to prevent it. Not only did she ask for help with a matter and admit that she felt her communication was not adequate, but she sought to improve how she communicates as well.