My Connections to Play

“Children need the freedom and time to play. Play is not a luxury. Play is a necessity.” Kay Redfield Jamison


“Play is the highest form of research.” ~ Albert Einstein 

As a child the toys I remember playing with all the time were baby dolls, stuffed animals, and my Big Wheel trike! I still have many of my stuffed animals, they were a source of comfort and fun for many years! As the youngest child I was often excluded by my older sisters, so I was left to play on my own. I think that is why I enjoyed playing with my stuffed animals so much. They were the best playmates a child could have! 

In my opinion, parents are more guarded today in terms of play. As a child I played with the neighborhood kids and my parents called me when it was time to come in. Summer meant being outside, and winter meant being outside. Snowmen, building forts, hide and seek. We resolved problems on our own. We argued and made up, we rode bikes, and counted our mosquito bites each night like a badge of honor. Now I think children are becoming little adults to quickly. They are in close proximity to adults quite frequently or engaging with multimedia more frequently. This lack of interaction with peers, and constant inundation to media is frightening. I hope that children can continue to enjoy the little time they have to be children. Through imagination, activity, and fun they learn so much, more than watching Dora the Explorer, playing on Nick Jr.com, or exploring the newest games on their parents smartphones. 

I recognize as an adult that unstructured play with my stuffed animals and peers allowed me to learn many useful tools. I was able to practice socializing with my animals, then put into practice these tools with my peers. As an adult, I learned from the relationships I had with my peers as a child. Problem -solving, conflict management, and basic survival skills really are all tools I can attribute to play.  

Relationship Reflection

Relationship Reflections

I feel so fortunate to have so many quality relationships in my life. Having loving and supportive people in life is necessary as a social being. Not only do the people that are important to me encourage me to be the best person possible by following my dreams, supporting me when I am at a low point, or just being with me, but they also model qualities that help me to see where I want to go. 

I met my husband in high school. I have grown tremendously as a person in part because of his support. Becoming a wife and mother has inspired me to constantly learn, and without this foundational relationship I would be able to identify myself as a wife and mother, which is paramount to who I am as a person. 

The relationships with my dad and sister are also important to me and who I am as a person. Being able to have people in my life that have known me through youthful rebellion to middle aged mother is reassuring. The reciprocal nature of unconditional love associated with family across time is the essence of my relationship with my dad and sister. The relationship is multi -dimensional, being family and friends.   

Next, my best friend Gina for over 6 years is important to me. The foundation of acceptance, trust, honesty, and simply fun is what I love most about our friendship. As we have stated this week unbiased relationships based on mutual respect establish effect programs and practices. When I think of my friendship with Gina that is how I define it. 

Lastly,  my children (baby Calum is in the previous pictures also). Top row Elija (15), Kevin, Calum (1), Me. Bottom row: Amelia (5), Mya (9), and Eliot (3). My children love me without bias or condition. My part in their development and nurturing of them is a gift to both them and me. They help me to define myself, give me a sense of pride, and therefore no matter how much they take, they give me so much back in return. 

Quotes for Childhood...

Based on the work I currently do with children I have found the first two quotes to be very true, at times this can be very heartbreaking...

"All children behave as well as they are treated."
-Jan Hunt

"It is easier to build strong children
than to repair broken men".
-Frederick Douglas 

Also, I have used this quote on my blog previously, but I feel it really is such a valid point...

"One test of the correctness of educational procedure is the happiness of the child."
-Maria Montessori

Assessing Our Children?

I think standardized testing of children can be useful, but harmful as well. For example, I used to work in the school district with children identified as having special needs. They were given the exact same test as their peers, allow some could not read the test themselves, finish the test in the allotted time, or fill in the tiny bubbles correctly to have their answer even count. Assessing children generalizes and places individuals into categories they may not fit within. Viewing every child holistically, while costly both financially and in terms of time, is the only accurate measure of a child. This encompasses emotional, physical, cognitive, and motor skills- not simply academic measures.

In India, assessing children with special needs has lead to developing a system that integrates how children learn best through use of the five senses to individualize and personalize lessons. The Multiple Intelligence Theory being implemented in Special Needs Programs in India is adopted from called the Gardner's Theory,  a Harvard psychologist. Priyadarshini (2005) states, "It provides more emphasis on the strengths and abilities of children with disabilities, increases students self-esteem and helps to promote success among a broader community of learners. MI theory makes sense of their individual differences, their tolerance and understanding".


References:
Priyadarshini, S. (2005). Significane of multiple intelligence among children with special needs. Retrieved  June 8, 2012 from http://www.gatewayforindia.com/articles/specialneeds.htm

Childhood Stressors

I am the adult child of an alcoholic. My father is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober since I was 9 years old. The major stressor in my life as a young child during a critical development period was chaos. My father drank from the moment he got off of work until he went to bed. At the time I thought my dad was just unhappy with his current job, and so he often took a new job. Now, I guess I realize he was often fired. Due to this we moved often, money was always an issue, changes in schools, changes in friends, moving away from support systems, fighting between my parents. Just chaos. In order to cope I often played make believe. I had stuffed animals that I played with, and as I got older I became a very good student and problem free child just to not be a greater burden. As an adult, I am now an extremely codependent person.  I have tremendous people pleasing tendencies. I have been through counseling and various types of therapy to learn skills to be an assertive person, and establish "normal" ideals of family and marriage. I used to react in anger to almost every emotion, but happiness because that is what was modeled for me. However, I would become very frightened if others became angry. Overall, my emotional and biosocial development required a lot of work as an adult to combat the negative effects of my upbringing.  Unfortunately, children around the world contend with alcohol abuse. Thankfully, in the United States there are programs such as
Al-Anon
Alateen
Children of Alcoholics Foundation: www.coaf.org
National Association for Children of Alcoholics: www.nacoa.org/

In India, the desire to leave poverty and gain affluence in the community is leading children to develop school stress. The stress of passing final exams is causing many students to commit suicide. By March of 2008 over 100 students had committed suicide, "leaving the country, and especially its parents, wondering whether the final deathly toll will exceed the 2006 mark when a staggering 5,857 Indian students attempted suicide due to exam blues, according to the National Crime Records Bureau" (Lal, 2008).  It seems as though poverty, hunger, and crime are the primary stressors and the end result is school anxiety leading to suicide and depression. Student crisis lines have been established for students to call and seek help or advice in order to combat this new challenge.


Reference:
Lal, N. (2008, March, 20). Killing stress for India's best and brightest. Asia Times. Retrieved May 25, 2012 from www.atimes.com/atimes/South_Asia/JC20Df01.html

Co-Sleeping and SIDS

One thing that has terrified me as a mother is Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. There are precautions that can be taken, but ultimately there is no control over this terrible occurrence. I know I am not alone in this, but I would startle and run to my infant's side if he or she had been asleep too long (in my opinion). I have hovered over them to make sure they are breathing. I have been prepared to wake them and call 9-1-1 because I felt their breathing may slightly seem erratic. (It was probably just me in my sleep deprivation from hovering and worrying). Recently I have heard a lot of debate over the correlation between SIDS and co-sleeping. Tragically in my own town, twin boys recently suffocated while co-sleeping.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2096611/Twin-babies-died-mothers-bed-victims-tragic-accident.html
Next a mother in Texas, has lost two boys in separate incidents to suffocation while co-sleeping. http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/135775/mom_convicted_for_not_heeding

However, in many countries it is considered negligent to put babies to sleep in a room by themselves. Santrock (2009) mentions that Mayan mothers sleep with their infant until they have another child, at which time that child goes to sleep with a different family member and the newborn sleeps with its mother. In this culture it is considered bad parenting to not sleep with your infant (p. 133). Many cultures and people from countries around the world co-sleep. It has been stated that in Japan there is the lowest rate of infant mortality, lowest rate of SIDS related deaths, 70% of mothers breastfeed, and 60% co-sleep (McKenna, n.d.)

I guess I am torn on this. I believe that there are safe ways to co-sleep. There are now co-sleeping beds that attach to the parents bed for babies to stay close to mom, but far enough away to stay safe. My own children slept in a bassinet right next to my bed until they we too big to safely be in it any longer, which also is an option. It is a fine line between SIDS and suffocation when debating co-sleeping. Research is finding negative and positive correlations between breastfeeding, smoking, education, and co-sleeping now with SIDS related deaths (p. 133). Ultimately, I think there are smart ways to co-sleep with infants to reduce suffocation or SIDS, but the debate is starting to pick up steam and many people are starting to push for laws to punish parents whose children suffocate while co-sleeping. I am not sure about this and would love to hear feedback from my colleagues?

References:
McKenna J. J. (n.d.) Cosleeping around the world. The Natural Child Project. Retrieved May 8, 2012     from http://www.naturalchild.org/james_mckenna/cosleeping_world.html 

Santrock, J.W. (2009) Child development (12th ed.). New York: McGraw Hill.

New Life!!

I am fortunate enough to be the proud mom of 5 wonderful children! This gives me just a couple of birth stories to choose from. My fifth baby Calum, was born last June. Each pregnancy has been different; with different challenges, joys, and experiences. Calum was due July 1st. My husband and I decided we should take the kids on a stay-cation before the baby was born. So June 4 we loaded up the minivan and headed for Vernal, Utah- just 5 hours from home to visit Flaming Gorge, Dinosaurland, etc. I started feeling very sick the day before we left and had blood drawn to ensure everything was okay for me and the baby. I continued to feel sick the entire time we were gone, but managed to still have a good time. We arrived home and the next evening my water broke in the middle of the night. Surprisingly enough, with my previous babies I have had a baby arrive on his due date, an amniocentesis,  an induction, natural births, but I have never had my water spontaneously break when not in labor. I didn't know what it was and so at 1:00 am I was googling it to make sure that is what was happening!! Sure enough little Calum Jeremy decided June 8th almost 4 weeks early was the day to be born. It was the most challenging birth experience I have endured last 8 hours. Four hours into my labor my blood pressure dropped dangerously low requiring them to give me medication every 20 minutes to keep it in a normal range. I remember thinking of things I wanted to say, but it took to much effort to try and say them. All I could do was close my eyes and try to breath. I thought surely they won't all just sit there and watch me die!! Finally little Calum was born at 10:55 am. He was perfectly healthy and happy weighing 6 lbs. 15 oz, and 19 inches long. Thank heavens he came early!! It took me several hours to recover, unlike my other delivers, but he was worth every minute of pain and fear!

In India, many mothers have felt pregnancy is a life giving process and a deep connection between the mother and infant is felt from conception. Many mothers rely on the support of their mothers, spiritual gurus, and elders to allow a natural birthing process such as standing or squatting.  Due to high maternal death rates the Indian government began to urge women to deliver their babies in hospitals with obstetricians in attendance as opposed to home births with midwives and elders (Gulati, 2009). Many women in India are still choosing to follow the advice of their gurus, mothers, and midwives however, due to shorter deliveries, and the lack of medical intervention the interrupts the natural spiritual process that labor offers between a mother and her infant, such as inductions, c-sections, and lying down to labor (2009). 

Reference:
Gulati, A. (2009). Natural childbirth: In whose hands? LifePostive. Retrieved May 2, 2012 from http://www.lifepositive.com/body/natural-childbirth/childbirth-india.asp